Tuesday, November 13, 2012

My fame is GROWING! – or – Fifty Shades of 'Huh'?

So! I've got GREAT news and I can't wait to share it!!! I've been offered a really cool opportunity that, God/Goddess/Allah/Buddha/FSM-willing will be the first official step on my path to Internationally Renowned Blogger™-hood.

But...before I begin, a bit of background:

A number of years ago a Mormon housewife by the name of Stephenie Meyer decided to publish what was essentially a written record of her personal erotic fantasies (well, at least what passes for ‘erotic’ in the Land of the Mormons) and thus was Twilight born.

Most people know Twilight as an engaging YA paranormal romance, wherein a young girl (Bella Swan) falls in love with a ‘good’ vampire (Edward Cullen) and they have many and various adventures on their path to eventual matrimony and parenthood.

In truth, it is a poorly written screed – about a somewhat selfish and shallow girl and the ‘mysterious and enigmatic’ guy she falls for – that details the many and various ways a man can stalk and abuse a woman while convincing her that his actions indicate love.


To give you some insight to my own character, while I found the stalking and abuser behaviour awful and unacceptable, my biggest issue was with the horrible writing and the poorly done editing. I only managed to get through the first book and that was…painful.

Millions of people, however, did not agree with me, as the book became an international bestseller and spawned several sequels, all of which – with the original – have been turned into movies.

In addition to their invasion of Hollywood, the books – or at least their characters – also found a home in the land of fanfic.

Fanfic (as defined by the Urban Dictionary):

Fanfics are fictional stories written about pre-existing books/films/animes/mangas/etc by fans of this work. A Disclaimer is included as standard, stating in some way or another that they do not own the characters they are writing about.

Some authors (e.g. J.K. Rowling) have encouraged fanfics on the grounds that publishing is not attempted (this will always result in a law suit, something the authors of fanfics have generally accepted). However, other authors (e.g. Anne Rice) have requested that fanfics based around their stories (etc) are not posted on fanfiction sites. These such authors are more commonly known as Kill Joys (see bitching).

A whole slew of Twilight fanfics came into being, most of them content to stay on the pages of their fanfic sites. But then the unthinkable happened: one got published.

As far as I know it was originally self-published, but soon gained immense popularity and was picked up by a mainstream publishing house. I’m speaking, of course, of Fifty Shades of Grey.

In this story, Bella and Edward are re-imagined as Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, who are, respectively, a virginal, sexually naïve (almost to the point of complete ignorance) recent college graduate, and a BDSM Dominant, multi-millionaire business magnate. He falls for her and wants her to be his sexual submissive. And, staying true to the nature of the ‘romance’ on which the characters are based, he exhibits abusive controlling behavior, all in the name of his love/need for her. (Full disclosure: I have only read the first chapter of the first book, but I have read many in-depth, critical-yet-humorous essays about the entire series).

Surprisingly, this book, too, became a huge success and it spawned sequels (and apparently movies are in the works as well). Unsurprisingly, the book also inspired a number of critiques and parodies, and that brings us back to the point of this post.

I was recently perusing Amazon.com – okay, that’s not true. I never casually search Amazon. I go there to ‘buy’ free books for my kindle, about which I am alerted by four daily e-mails.

One of the e-mails I received featured a book titled – and I poop you not – Fifty Shades of Jungle Fever. Now, my first thought was, “Has Spike Lee lost his mind?” But I quickly realized that he, in fact, had nothing to do with it. Rather, an…enterprising author by the name of L.V. Lewis decided to write and publish her own version of FSoG (I’m assuming it was self-published, as the ‘publisher’ is listed as Jungle Fever Press, Georgia).

Of course, I had to have it. I mean, I knew FSoG sucked, but a fanfic of a fanfic? How much worse could things possibly get? I couldn’t wait to read it!

Now, here’s where we get to the part about my GROWING fame…=’)

Because I have an endless love of horribly executed fiction, I routinely search the internet for critiques of, and essays on, awful books/series, mostly for their comedic value. (here are some links to some of my faves:

seriously, check them out. They’re awesome!!!)

The last link is the most relevant, as the author, Jennifer Armintrout, and I have been chatting occasionally via twitter. She has done an amazing chapter-by-chapter breakdown of the first book of FSoG (and I believe is working on the other two) and contributed an essay to the book, “Fifty Writers on ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’”. When I saw the ‘Jungle Fever’ version, I had to send her a ‘tweet’ and let her know about it.

Her response? She asked if I would be willing to write a guest post for her blog reviewing the book.


A published author asked me – a soon-to-be-burgeoning Internationally Renowned Blogger™ – to write a guest post for her blog. I am SO jizzing excited right now!

So, uh yeah. I am in the process of writing the review and then I will send it to her for…uh…review… and posting. Since she has been so gracious in inviting me to write for her blog*, I will not be posting my review here, but rather only on her site. I will post a link to it here when she puts it up.

*by the way, while I’m sure this is just biz-as-usual for well-known published author like her, it’s kind of a pretty big deal for me…and I’m super excited about it!!!


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