It's done! It's long, but it's done. Enjoy...
(A brief aside before I begin: Regardless of the author’s
intent in writing this book, and her subsequent arguments defending it, there’s
a whole
lotta racism going on in here. Smarter people than me have already
blogged that issue to death, so I’m not going to touch it. If you are dying to
know about it, go here and read the first dozen reviews:
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12393909-revealing-eden)
So, I finally figured out why my review of “Revealing Eden”
was taking so long; I was approaching it in the wrong way. For some reason, I
was treating it like an academic essay (thesis, arguments, conclusion, etc.).
I hate academic essays.
I’m just going to review it the way I would if I were
talking to a friend (and since you’re reading my blog, I’m assuming we’re
friends…=') )
I’ll start with a very basic synopsis:
Revealing Eden,
a future dystopia that’s meant to “turn racism on its head”, is the story of
Eden Newman, a young white girl living in a post-cataclysm world where black
people rule and white people are oppressed. In her quest to find a mate (and
help her genius-scientist father save the human race), she falls in love with
her black employer.
If that sounds dull, uninspired and uninteresting, that’s
because it is. The problem with “Revealing Eden” is that the writing is so lazy
– oftentimes sloppy – that the characters and settings are woefully
underdeveloped and the book is rife with inconsistencies to its own internal
logic.
To wit:
The world is ruled by black people, yet the one person smart
enough to “save” everyone is a white guy (Eden’s
father).
The names given to the different races are referred to as
“slurs” yet only the one for black people is an actual insult (both in the book
and in real life).
The surface of the planet is supposed to have been ravaged
and rendered unlivable by the “Great Meltdown”, yet there’s a section of the
Amazon Rainforest that not only survived intact, but is also peopled by the
“mysterious” Huaorani tribe (who, by the way, do actually exist, in
Ecuador, but who do not speak Spanish, contrary to what the book portrays).
The white people are supposed to wear a dark skin coating to
protect them from the deadly rays of the sun, yet Eden traipses around the
Amazon – free of her coating – and doesn’t get so much as a tan.
Speaking of Eden
(the girl who’s going to help save humankind is named Eden…New…Man – not
gonna touch that one), though she’s supposed to be smart and capable, her
actions reveal her to be shallow, superficial and naïve.
She figures out her father’s secret world-saving plan
– that’s supposed to be kept a secret – and uses it to impress a black guy
she’s trying to bed. He, of course, betrays her and uses the information in a
bid to seize power so he can kill off all the white people.
Also, she constantly spouts off the scientific
names of plants and animals because…well, I’m not sure why she does this. She
does it at the most random intervals but it’s never explained why. Maybe it’s
meant to show her intelligence? If that’s the case, it doesn’t work. It becomes
tedious and distracting and makes her seem less intelligent, rather than more.
Okay, I’m done with this; it’s time to shift gears here.
While I was reading the book, I made copious notes to help with the review. I’m
just going to include the relevant ones here, because they’re illustrative and
will easily make my point for me…also, thinking about this book is starting to
give me a headache and I have stuff of my own I need to be writing.
If you don’t feel like reading the notes, that’s fine. I’ll
just say, as an ending note: This author took a potentially interesting idea
and did a terrible job at executing it. Apparently, the idea was done right in
Malorie Blackman’s “Noughts and Crosses” Check that out instead.
My notes:
“They must not
see” (p. 10 – first page of story, 2nd sentence. I get the need to other the “bad guys”, but given the
history of the US,
and the nature of this story, referring to black people as “them” is probably
not the wisest decision. she does this a lot)
(what’s w/ all the scientific names? – distracting)
(who names a character “Peach”, like actual name instead of nickname?)
“Experience something
pleasant” (p. 11 – shouldn’t that be think
of something pleasant?)
“Pearls, the racist term
for whites” (p. 12)
“Images of Pearls in natural coloring were forbidden. If they caught Eden
looking, she would be punished” (p. 13 – if the images are forbidden, why does
she have such easy access to them?)
“…according to the antique Beauty Map…” (p. 13 – what the
hell is a beauty map?)
“Me? Eden Newman?” (p. 13 – Eden Newman…Eden…New
Man…subtlety this is not…)
“She was a lowly Pearl,
worth nothing (emph mine) in a world ruled by dark skinned Coals” (p.
13 – because pearls are worthless…???)
“Because of his high intelligence scores, they had overlooked his race and given
him the position of lead scientist” (p. 14 – on her scientist father getting a
lead research position. no one else – no
one else – in the entire society is smarter than this one “Pearl”…)
“Since their numbers hadn’t been decimated in The Great
Meltdown, as the other races’ had, they now ruled the planet” (p. 15 – because having
greater numbers always determines who rules…)
“Only Cottons, the derogatory word for albinos, were lower,
and they were extinct.” (p. 15 – because albinism denotes a separate “race” and
not a genetic trait)
“If Eden wasn’t mated in six months when she turned eighteen
– the deadline for girls – she’d be cut off from Basic Resources, and left
outside to die.” (p. 15)
“Eden flinched. One
of them was touching her. White-hot
light exploded in her head. Before she knew it, she blurted out an incendiary
racial slur.
‘Get your hands off of me, you damn Coal!’ ” (p. 15)
“The girl lunged for her, but Eden
jumped out of reach.
“She pushed me!” Ashina cried, falling to the floor.” (p. 15
– how can you “push” someone towards you?)
“Even those whom she thought tolerated her presence hurled
racial epithets.
‘Earth-damned Pearl!’
‘White death!’ ”(p. 15)
“…skin the color of storm clouds…” (p. 17 – aren’t storm
clouds usually various shades of gray – from light to dark? …mmmaybe, 50 shades
of gray?)
“…a mixed Asian, or Amber, as the racist term went…” (p. 18)
“…why not pick a Tiger’s Eye, or Latino? They ranked higher
in the race wars than Ambers, who stood above Pearls.” (p. 19)
(she refers – repeatedly in the
story – to Jamal, the head of security, as her Dark Prince.) p. 19
“Only a cold bastard like Bramford could resist Jamal’s
charm. His expression remained impassive, as closed off as his past.” (p. 20 –
if this is meant to be foreshadowing, it is really clumsy. if not, what purpose does it serve? in the next pp
she talks of “researching” him – why/how would a “lowly Pearl” get access to
such information?)
“Eden found the
custom gold ring, which held a large onyx stone, as pretentious as its owner.”
(p. 20 – custom gold ring w/ a large onyx (obviously the author is aware of its
worth) – yet the black people are referred to as Coals…???)
(random and recurring mentions of genetics/genomes. why? to
add “feeling” of being scientific/intellectual?) p. 21
(the main character vacillates between haughtily
condescending and ridiculously naïve
– is that meant to represent a typical teenager? but she grew up in a
“post-apoc wasteland” so she’s not a
typical teenager) p.21
“Even here she couldn’t escape Bramford’s colossal ego. Like
an animal, he had marked his territory by carving a ridiculously large initial
“B” onto each unit door. His audacious company logo – a snow-capped black
mountain against a red desert background that offered a false hope in a parched
land – glowed at intervals along the walls. As if he owned everything,
including her” (p.22 – uh…what CEO doesn’t
tag everything with their brand?)
“…happiness had gone the way of the dolphins.” (p. 23 – what
a strange thing to say)
“…she flashed on the date: the 29th of May, her
half birthday. For Earth’s sake, how could she have forgotten?” (p. 24 – she didn’t forget. see note from page 15)
“…her lingering anger over Bramford’s lies…” (p. 25 – what lies has he told?)
“A Pink Pearl [Eden’s
mother] was fairer than Eden, and
therefore even more susceptible to the Heat. But she’d been lax about coating.
Minor rebellions keep the heart alive, she would say.” (p. 27 – so, is this
“coating”, this Midnight Luster, is it mandatory
so the Coals don’t get offended by the sight of Pearls, or is it some kind of
preventative/prophylactic/”sunblock” that the Pearls need for enviro
protection?)
“Eden switched
on Austin’s nutrient teat, and he
began to suck hungrily on it.” (p. 27 – in a future of limited resources where
Pearls are at the bottom of the ladder, why would a Pearl have not
only the luxury of owning a dog, but also a dog-feeding system
built in
to her home?)
“…his powerful body dominating the small space like a
mountain in a cave…” (p. 67 – who writes like this? what does it mean?)
“Nearly two decades of oxy drips had…”(p. 108 – she’s 17½
and started oxy when she was 5 – that’s NOT nearly two decades, that’s just
over one decade)
Was it because Eden
now lacked a shed of dark coating? (p. 111 – where is the editor???)
“The name had struck a nerve in him. If she said it again,
he might make her pay. He might grab her with those big, rough hands and pin
her down.” (p. 113 – ok, this reads
like really bad porn-lite. and, of course, the black guy with “those big,
rough hands”…)
“Luckily, she recalled a few Spanish words she had learned
whenever her sensors had translated.” (p. 116 – what does this mean? when had her sensors translated
Spanish?)
“She slipped on a pile of Brazil nuts and fell onto a log.”
(p. 125 – wha? huh? why?)
“It’s evident that you have a talent for aggravating him. A
common female tactic to attract the male’s attention.” (p. 133 – this is her
father talking to her. I suppose being a “brilliant scientist” does not
preclude being a sexist d-bag)
“Eden knew the
woman meant well. But then, the road to Earth’s destruction had also been paved
with good intentions.” (p. 137 – on the “native woman” putting a poultice on
her father’s wound…what the f**k!!!)
“Maria gave her a warning look. ‘Bejuco de oro muy fuerte.’ ”(p. 138 – <== that is not a
sentence!!!!!)
“In fact, the Huorani met the most trivial events with a
happiness that puzzled Eden. Maybe
they didn’t know how boring their lives were.” (p. 140 – what an awful person
she is)
“If only Austin
were there to protect her. If only she had paid attention to his warnings.” (p.
146 – …Austin was her dog…)
(The amount of “convenient” knowledge she possesses is
simply ridiculous) p. 151
(This girl is giving a nature lecture as she’s about to be
killed by a giant snake) p. 156
“…Eden peered
inside at an unappetizing dark brown watery soup, surprisingly odorless.” (p.
173 – her sentence constructions are awful)
“…he seemed as far away from her as the world was from their
lonely encampment.” (p. 174 – this turn of phrase does not work for a post-apoc
planet where most live underground and these two are in the ‘last bit of green’
anywhere.)
“To her surprise, Bramford squeezed her hands, as if he were
trying to communicate.” (p. 174 – they then go on to have a 2-3 page
conversation…so he didn’t need to try…)
(having a
“let’s-reveal-all-of-one-character’s-secrets-while-he’s-in-a-drug-induced-stupor”
conversation is so lazy!!!) p. 179
“Love? If it did
exist, it hurt like Bleeding Earth.” (p. 181 – what the heck does this mean?)
“It never occurred to Eden
that various parts of a plant contained different remedies – it was just a
plant.” (p. 201 – she was assistant to her father – the most brill scientist
EVAR – and smart enough to piece together his “plan” and can’t go 5 sentences
w/o dropping some scientific nomenclature, but this shit about plants never
occurred to her?)
“…the tube-lipped nectar bat, Anoura fistulata, so necessary for pollination in the rain forest…”(p.
202 – yet the plant info never occurred to her)
“What deep dark secret could cause the girls’ irrepressible
spirits to wilt? Even Maria’s shoulders sagged. It had to be some superstitious
Huaorani belief, perhaps because of his mixed race.” (p. 202 – cos dem brown
people’s got some krazeeee ideas about shit!!!)
(this girl is RIDICULOUS!!! she keeps jumping to crazy
conclusions based on the skimpiest of “evidence” and then makes decisions based
on them!!) p. 202
(This author doesn’t telegraph her punches, she takes out
full-page newspaper ads!!!) p. 177/204
“ ‘Are you all right, Daught?’ her father said, his voice
shaky. Even now, as his energy drained away, he only showed concern for her.
For once the dreaded nickname comforted Eden.”
(p. 205 – this makes no sense!!! he’s basically shut her
out since her mother’s death and she’s been bitching for the entire book about
how he never pays attention to her.)
“Using her finely developed researcher’s skills, she
memorized the leaf Maria had given her…”(p. 211 – this book has got to be a
joke…it simply has to be…)
(in – what? 3, 4 days TOPS – she’s all of a sudden Sheena,
Queen of the Jungle?) p. 211
(she’s seriously – SERIOUSLY – riding him like he’s an actual beast. This book is f*cked up) p.
213
“A delicate rainbow arced high in the glistening air like a
stairway to heaven.” (p. 214 – when has a rainbow ever approximated a
stairway? maybe a pathway…and, seriously, stairway to heaven? as they head
towards Heaven’s Gate?)
“Eden realized
that her father probably would be the first non-native to take its medicine.
“We could call it Newman’s Cure,” she said, hopefully” (p. 221 – my god!!! how
arrogant and selfish is this girl???)
“What on Blessed Earth would it take for Bramford to trust
her?” (p. 229 – she has done NOTHING in the entire novel to make
anyone trust her.)
She lifted her head to find Austin
sprawled on top of Jamal’s face. (p. 234 – what????)
An indirect approach was best, she decided. (p. 241 – that’s
all
she’s done for the whole book!!!!)
